Confessions Of A Ryan Adams Superfan

In honor of Ry's new album, Ashes and Fire, coming out on October 11th...

Dear Ryan (<---I know him well enough to be on a first name basis),

To put it simply, I love you. We have never actually met, but I know we are soulmates. Mandy's cool, and I like that you married someone who used to sing about candy, but I really think we'd get along. I would even settle for being both of your best friends. We could hang out; laugh, eat cake, play with your animals, hike--really, I'm up for anything.

I haven't always loved you. In fact, our relationship is at about 2 1/2 years. I'd heard about you from shows like One Tree Hill, but since my music taste had not yet evolved, I was still paying $200 to go to Britney Spears concerts (still love ya Brit!). Enter the boy to end all boys--thanks to him, you came into my life. You rocked my world. Sang me to sleep. Gave me jams to soothe my broken heart. He gave me a mixed CD of your songs. I waited a few days to actually listen, but when I did, I kind of freaked out. Where the eff had you been all my life? Why was I so stupid as to only listen to music that a 15 year old would listen to? In an instant, you became the love of my life.

Within weeks, I got every single album you ever made. And your books. For a solid three months, my life consisted of only you. You totally get me--telling me we're going to win, to put my troubles behind me, and go on to bed (you know how much I need my sleep). I think I would have had a nervous breakdown after that boy disappeared had it not been for you.

I know you have tons of fans who all probably say they're your biggest fans. But I'm serious. I really think I am. I've never seen you live because I chose to start loving you after you finished tons of touring...but for this next album (it's probably the highlight of my year), I hope and pray that you will come sing to me.

I've often thought about what I would say to you if we ever meet. Probably something similar to this. I just wanna warn you though, that if we ever do cross paths, I will probably freak out and try not to have an anxiety attack which will inevitably not work causing me to cry a teeny bit. Just smile at me real big and give me a hug and tell me that it's gonna be okay and I promise I'll calm down so you can realize how much you love me.

Sincerely,

Emily

What Makes Females Go Crazy In The Year 2011

This is dedicated to Travis. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Liars--this includes those liars who lie by "omission."

Cheaters

Men who think that women are so complicating and hard to understand--we really don't expect that much from you. i'm serious. it's the little things that make us happy so shoot us a text in the morning to wish us a good day or bring us chocolate when we're PMSing (yes, we do that) or hell, be bold and give us a call when you want to talk to us. again, it's the LITTLE THINGS.

It's really hard being a girl. Nothing is crazier than all the standards and expectations we have to be a certain way...we will always feel like we're lacking something; we will always look at those trashy magazines and wish we didn't have cellulite on our ass like we're SURE olivia wilde doesn't, or wish we could make our hair less frizzy (that's when a girl's hair has more volume but not in a good way...humidity usually does this) like jennifer aniston, whom never, ever seems to have this problem.

Humidity (see above)

Hayden Panettiere

 Facebook

Dramatic changes in behavior--i.e. when a guy texts you EVERYDAY, a couple times a day, and then abruptly stops, there should be no surprise that we ask/wonder what has happened or changed; no, this does not make us "crazy" or "possessive." we are normal and functional human beings who want to make sure we're not dealing with idiot/asshole boys who like to change their minds on a whim.

Being told to "calm down" or "chill out" when we're actually quite fine; raising our voices and getting agitated does not mean we are having a freak-out.

"Are you PMSing or something?"

Other females who flirt with every breathing male.

When men lose interest in our lives and/or would rather be hanging out with their "boys." If you want to act like a 14 year-old, then please just do us a favor and break up with us.

When we're out with a dude and he won't quit checking out every other woman in the room; i.e. waitresses, bartenders, any girl with a skirt on.












**some of these are subject to change and/or be added to...

What I Wish I Could Have Told Myself At 18

We were really cool in high school

Take a minute to stop and breathe every now and then. A few deep breaths in the morning do wonders for the rest of your day.

Even though it feels like it, you WILL NOT die of a broken heart.

Texting and calling someone every five minutes will not make them want to be with you more.

Take note of what you look like now, and be diligent in maintaining that look because once you start drinking more and eating "drunk food," you WILL GAIN WEIGHT.

Bad decisions are good for your development. So don't worry.

Don't wait to get pedicures until your 23 (or older). Even if you have to ask your parents for money, go ahead and do so.

this is actually really cute. 

You don't have to decide what you're going to do with your life until about the third year in school (and even then, it's subject to change). Live up irresponsibility while you can.